#WE PICK OURSELVES UP AND WE GET THEM NEXT TIMEEEE

[amanedachi]

tennessine / rookie

Part of LoL Esports Elemental Series.

[ayellowcurtain]

that time travel AU!! I need more now 😩

This is a very angsty with a happy ending fic that I mostly started writing for myself, weeks and weeks ago, so again, it might not be for everyone. Also, a reminder that Lola is around the same age as the boys in this AU.

-

Loud music, flashing lights. Eliott can feel his body sweaty, his clothes sticking to his constantly moving body, dancing. He opens his eyes and meets someone he hasn’t seeing in a long time.

Lola is right there in front of him, so close, dancing with her eyes closed. Eliott remembers kissing her. Not now, not tonight, but he keeps remembering how it was, how it felt, how it tasted.

Eliott blinks a few times, wanting to get out of here, but he’s still in the club, looking around him, meeting the pair of angry blue eyes even in a crowded place.

Lucas keeps watching him dance with Lola from afar. He’s angry and so disappointed it’s hard to look at him, knowing Eliott is the cause for that look, but Lucas won’t stop staring, like he’s waiting for Eliott to break again and kiss the girl in front of him now that he has the option. Now that he and Lucas are no longer together. 

The thought that Lucas is just waiting for Eliott to break his heart again makes him move, desperately trying to pass by the dancing people to find his person. To tell Lucas he’s wrong, there’s nothing between him and Lola, but the people won’t move out of his way!

And when he manages to move, even if just a few steps, someone holds his hand.

“No, stay. You need to stay for me.”

She begs like she knows that’s the way to make him stay and Eliott pulls his hand away, turning back to go to Lucas, stumbling against some strangers, never able to get closer to Lucas.

.

The flat is still empty when he wakes up. Eliott opens his eyes and he’s wide awake instantly, not wanting to go back to his nightmare of always trying but never able to reach Lucas again because Lola is there.

Today is Daphné’s birthday. They’re all trying to make Eliott feel like a part of their group again since the New Years Eve and so he should go, but the thought of watching Lucas in pain to be there it’s too much to even think about.

He fucked up with all of them and especially with Lucas, just to make it even worst, and they’re still giving him another chance, but he doesn’t want to. Not like this, with Lola around Lucas. Lucas and their friends don’t deserve to constantly be worrying if he’ll have another fallout.

His phone keeps buzzing on the nighstand and Eliott streches his arm and grabs his phone, hoping it’s Lucas. They’re talking again, taking things very, very slowly. But it’s not him, or at least not just him. Lucas created a group chat with Eliott and all the boys again.

They used to have one before and Eliott got out of that one when Lucas broke up with him. He didn’t want to bother the boys by being around them when they were Lucas’ friends first.

ay ay ay, it’s party timeeee!

hey! stop that! Let’s just behave ourselves tonight!

we’re still cleaning the house and I don’t want you animals to come and ruin everything!

Baz...

We’re filthy animals, baby!!

Eliott keeps reading Baz’s name like he can hear Lucas saying it, finding some comfort in thinking about his voice.

He rolls around on his bed, hiding his face against a pillow, grunting. His phone goes off again with another wave of messages.

and baby Eli?

you’re going with us, right?

Eliott! Eliott! Eliott!

We need to watch our favorite couple be a couple again... ;)

ELU <3

Eluuuu <3

ELuuuuu <3

Stop...

are you coming with us?

Eliott sighs against the pillow, typing with one hand, making sure to tag Lucas on his message.

Do you want me to go?

He sees all the names popping, writing something and he smiles, he misses having his friends. People that he can rely on. The next wave is filled with all types of heart emojis, eggplants, heart eyes and Lucas properly answers at last, tagging him too.

If you want to, yeah.

It’s been a couple of days since they last saw each other and Eliott is missing Lucas like it’s been years. Looking back now, he can’t remember how he survived a whole year without him.

Then I’m going.

There’s no way Eliott can survive a night with Lucas without touching every inch of his body instantly, worshiping how much he loves that man and everything he is, so he goes for the second best option.

Eliott adjusts his pillow and lies on his back again, breathing in and out slowly, counting to four with every step of the way and it’s like falling asleep all over again, but Eliott can pick and choose where to go, where to stop and watch, needing to take the edge off of his feelings before the party.

-

It’s not a long enough walk from home to the bus stop. The boys really went to pick him up at his door, ringing the bell constantly until Eliott rushed downstairs to join them.

They all looked different, Eliott couldn’t remember the last time they were all together. And they were all acting like dumb teenagers when they left Lucas to be the last one to be greeted, diferently than the others, of course. Eliott couldn’t help but hug him tightly and for a very long time.

When they let go of each other, the boys were already walking away. They were all together, talking about the last couple of months of their lifes, moving to different cities and whatnot, but there was clearly this attempt to give Lucas and Eliott some space, privacy if they wanted to use it. But Lucas didn’t. He kept putting him and Eliott back on the boys’ conversation, never letting them walk too much in front of them where Eliott would be his only option of conversation.

After the bus, the three started walking a little faster, leaving Lucas and Eliott a couple of steps behind. It felt like they were kids all over again, hearing their friends teasing them to just kiss already, but they didn’t.

“Do they know we...hm, saw each other a few times?”

Lucas huffs his laughter, looking forward to the others.

“I mean, I left the New Years’ party almost crying, telling them all about how I was going to your place, so...I guess yes.”

They look at each other and laugh. Eliott loves Lucas’ laughter. It’s so engraved in his brain that it’s one of the few things Eliott can hear perfectly during his travels.

“Do they hate me? For breaking your heart...” Eliott looks from the corner of his eyes how Lucas’ smiles slowly disappears.

“I think you have to ask them that, not me.”

Eliott tries to quietly move to the side, walking just a little closer to Lucas.

“I had a dream last night...felt more like a nightmare actually. But you were there.”

Lucas smiles again, turning his body to look at Eliott. “That’s why it was a nightmare?”

Eliott takes advantage of finally having Lucas’ full attention on him and he looks back at him, noticing the small differences that no memory can replicate. His hair is a little shorter than what Lucas usually had, he looks a hint stronger, hotter. The blue jacket was replaced by a black jean jacket that Eliott notices it looks a lot like one he has that Lucas always wore.

“No, the bad part was that I couldn’t reach you. We were at a club and no matter how hard I pushed people away, I wasn’t really moving closer to you.”

Lucas nods his head, frowning, really trying to disect Eliott’s problems, even the small ones, always trying to help, to find a way out. “Maybe it’s a part of an old memory? You know things can get confusing if you go back and forward too much...”

“I know...and I did that, a lot of travels, but before the New Year’s Eve, not now. Lola was in the dream too...”

Lucas only nods his head this time, clearly not interested anymore so Eliott changes the subject back. This isn’t about Lola, Eliott just wants Lucas to know that he’s trying. 

“I went back to every night that we had together this year. Couldn’t sleep on my own so had to go back to you every night to be able to relax and fall asleep. Maybe that’s what caused the nightmare or the messy memories mixing together.”

Lucas looks down to his feet, clenching his jaw. “You know you shouldn’t be doing that. It’s not good for you.”

“I know, but I don’t care. And it was only for a few minutes, just to be able to relax enough.”

They stay in silence again, hearing the boys talking loudly in front of them.

“Why didn’t you change it?” Eliott frowns with the sudden question and Lucas looks at him like he haven’t done in a while. His blue eyes, furrowed brows, looking deep inside Eliott.

“Your hook up with Lola.”

It doesn’t go unnoticed how bitter Lucas sounds saying that again, even after more than a year. Maybe Eliott should go back in time and erase all of it, from start to finish so there’s no hint of where things started to go wrong with him and Lucas.

“Liking or not, it happened. And I was afraid to change that and then by accident change something in the future that we don’t even know yet. The damage was already done. If I changed it, maybe our future would be different and not in a good way”

They turn to go up Daphné’s street and Eliott keeps looking at Lucas, checking if he’s going to say something more or not.

“What’s the perfect future for you then?”

It’s an easy answer, Eliott wishes Lucas knew that enough not to need to ask.

“As long as we’re back together, that’s all I care about right now, nothing else.”

“I heard something similar before. I was the only one that mattered. That didn’t work for long.”

“I still mean those words. It didn’t change for me, you’re all I care about if not myself.”

Lucas stops a few meters down from the door where the boys are now standing, waiting for someone to open the door for them. 

“Do you care about yourself? Honestly? You say that but then you act like you don’t. You never put yourself first. You always find a way to hurt yourself, to make you go back all the way to the beginning.”

“I fuck up sometimes. I would like to think I’m getting better about it. Trust me, I don’t want to fuck up either.”

Eliott stops and stands right in front of Lucas, maybe a little too close, but definetely not close enough. Lucas looks away and Eliott follows his eyes, watching their friends getting inside, waving at them. 

When the metal door makes a loud noise when it closes, Eliott kisses Lucas. As careful as he can, holding Lucas’ face, looking at him for half a second. Lucas’ hands come to his sides and Eliott steps closer, kissing his almost-boyfriend until they’re out of breath. 

“Do you want to go somewhere else? I only came because I wanted to be close to you.”

Lucas sighs, bitting his own lip, looking down, putting his hands on top of Eliott’s. 

“No...It’s Daphné’s birthday. She and Baz will kill me if I don’t go there to congratulate her. And it’s been a year, like you said, what’s done it’s done, I can’t change the past.”

“Would you?”

Lucas looks up, his piercing eyes staring straight at Eliott’s, very confident in his words. “Probably. But because it was hard to know...that it happened. My decision is based on different things than your decision. I get it why you didn’t do it.”

Eliott sighs, gently touching Lucas’ cheeks with his thumbs, looking at his lips, at how beautiful Lucas is. “Now you’re making me want to go forward...know what happens from now on for us.”

“I would prefer if you don’t think about the future constantly. Just be present right now.”

“I don’t want to lose you, Lucas,” he admits, even though he’s sure Lucas knows all about that. Eliott can be very persistent and he knows he’s following Lucas like a puppy since that first time back together at New Year’s Eve. 

“You won’t.”